we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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