forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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