Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
