Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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