you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have feelings that need drinking.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
