Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
