I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm both gender and math confused
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
