so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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