So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
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