SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
