but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
