I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
