bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
