oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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