I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
