Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry Mazer_Rackham_ hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(256): View more from Alabama

'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option

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(702): View more from Nevada

oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve

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(334): View more from Alabama

This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.

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(209): View more from California

I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.

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(620): View more from Kansas

For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches

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(310): View more from California

Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits

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