so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
