At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
