hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
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