I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
