If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just invented taco cereal.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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