Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
