dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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