No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
