I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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