i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He better not be in your backpack
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
