Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
