What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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