What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
