I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
