Porn is love you can see.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
