Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
