let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I am available for nakedness
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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