Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
