Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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