Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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