found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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