I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
