I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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