Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
