Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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