so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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