Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
