Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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