i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
