A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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