Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
