Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
whose ass print is on the piano?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
