We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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