I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
How external is "for external use only"?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
