I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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