glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
