Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just blew my weed a kiss
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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