what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
