So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize