I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
