She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
