im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
