yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
