He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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