Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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