Sry I called you an 8
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
