i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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