and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Randomize
